Apparently facial piercing makes one look younger...

At least according to my son. I recently allowed him to get his ears pierced, because I'm nouveaux-trash like that.

Anywhoo...after my scary experience with the Bell's Palsey where I became paralyzed on one entire half of my face - I couldn't blink, smile, eat, talk, etc, normally for weeks, and I still haven't completely recovered.

Life is short...really it is, and I've always wanted a labret piercing, so I did it. I just went out and did it along with my tongue, which I'd had pierced before I had to remove it for my emergency C-Section. I'd had it for 3 years and it closed up within a week.

So, now I probably look really stupid, but I am proud of myself for doing it. I've heard that labret is one of the more painful piercings, and now I'm sitting here with one! It suits me and I don't care what anyone else thinks! Austin said I look younger, so I think it's a win/win. XD

I AM CHARLIE SHEEN!!!!!!

and you can be too! >:D Here's mine:

“I am on a drug. It’s called Mom. If you try it once, you will be skull-fucked. Your earlobe will melt off, and your Crazy Horse will spew over your aborted body … I’m tired of pretending like I’m not refudiate—a total freaking butt hair waxer from Pluto. I’ve got anteater blood, Dionysus DNA! … They picked a fight with a flying unicorn. They’re trying to take all my ding dongs and leave me with no means to assimilate my family. It’s not metallurgy! They owe me an apology while procreating my taint … I don’t think people are ready for the diaper I’m delivering, and delivering with a sense of rancid love. I exposed mirrors to magic! Here’s your lochia test. Next one goes in your anus!”

http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/features/2011/02/stark-raving-mad-libs-201102 <---try it here! <3

Cinemalicious!

We enjoyed a feast of the senses late last night, as we watched a film created by my favorite stalkee - Beau. "Dick For Hire" was a smorgasbord of enriched dialog, a fabulous cast, and a telling story featuring self discovery in the rancid depths of the Chicagoland Underworld.

A racy, raucous, ride through the genius that is Beau's mind, thank you for inviting us, Beau!

Have you ever been with someone soooo long that you don't know what to talk about anymore?

Because I am now a hermit and my closest friends consist of a surly teen, a dramatic almost 12 year old, and an enormous toddler, I feel like I have nothing meaningful to contribute to an adult conversation with my DH.

At night I am apparently full of random quips, according to my husband, after I've taken my ambien, but tonight we are actually going on a DATE....a real one, with no kids, and I don't know what we're going to talk about.

We are celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary (officially Monday), and we've been together through the good and the bad for over 20 years. It baffles my mind really. He must be a glutton for punishment to have put up with all my craziness for all these years.

Also, I don't want to be this old.

Good Nights does not equal Good Days.

Why do I let myself get suckered into other people's reviews about a product? I read like FIFTYZILLION reviews about these diapers, and there was nary a negative! Yesterday was large toddler's first full day wearing her big girl panties, and guess what - HUGE ASS RASH FROM HELL. Really?? REALLY??? The reviews I read said these diapers were like angel feathers kissed by God himself, and would cradle my child's delicate cheeks in a loving embrace. I guess loving embrace = bright red, slap-your-ass, rash. Now I have no regular diapers (which I have to order from diapers.com because NO ONE in the whole of the Midwest carries size 7 diapers), and I just placed an order for $50.00 more of these torturous trappings yesterday.

Hello butt balm and too small, size 6's. Poor baby. :(

Happy Birthday...

Mom...you would have been 71 today...wow. I miss you - I miss your laugh, your beautiful skin, your signature smell. You told me I was a grown up before you passed, but you were so wrong. I was way too young to lose you, and way too selfish to understand the ramifications of losing you so young. I had so much to learn - left with no one to guide me.

I have these three beautiful kids, was that your gift to me? For surely things would have not been the same in my life if you hadn't died. I know this. So thank you for them, even if I am just kinda muddling my way through this life.

Happy Birthday Mom...I love you.

I keep falling off the wagon...

My willpower is lacking.

I've been blogging more than you think!

But I get all long winded lately, so I just save the post to my private stash.

We bought the large toddler "Good Nights" last night. For those of you out there that are not parents, they are a pull up type diaper that are usually meant for older kids who have bed-wetting issues, and go up to 65 pounds.

Yes, 65 pounds, and they fit perfectly right now. I am afraid to weigh her honestly. It's not that she is this big, chubby girl...I mean of course she's still a baby, but she is TALL...she's just big everywhere! At 2, her head just about reaches Jenna's chest. How did I get these big babies!? Her new size 7 clothing fit perfectly, and I may even need to go up a size because I shrink everything I get my hands on.

Kill everything green, and shrink all our clothes - I rock.


Who needs a jungle gym?!

Getting my Geek on.

I am a gamer chick. I like to game. I especially like to escape into RPG's and MMORPG's. I finished the latest installment of Final Fantasy from Square/Enix (no it's never actually "final", there's already another in the works as well as a new MMO.) So while I found 13 to be stunning graphically, I found the content lacking. Where is the cheesy translation from JP to EN? Where is the story...the love, romance, adventure, excitement? 13 didn't even have a card game, and you couldn't get a Chocobo until you were WELL into the game (plus they were over-sized and ugly!). I feel like having voiced characters takes some of the personalization out of it all. I have no choices, they are who they are - and they're all pretty cookie-cutter predictable. Where in the hell did the winning battle music go off to?? Why does it have to be game over if my leader dies, but the two others are still fine and dandy? WHY IS THERE NO ESCAPE OPTION!?

So though I game, I need Steven to come over to teach me how to get the most out of my PS3. As he lives a thousand miles away, this is not very often, but when he last visited, he showed me where I could buy my old fave, FFVIII. I have now put 40 hours into the damn thing, even though I played the shit out of it like every day the entire year of 1999. I love that I can make Squall a total asshole, or just an emo-whiny-angst ridden teenager, because I get to CHOOSE his answers, no one is telling me who he HAS to be (though anyone who knows me, knows that I have a soft spot for Rinoa, so I make sure he's always nice to her.) It will always be my favorite FF, and I've played them all (so stop judging me any of you hardcore FF lovers.) When I get all my chars and GF's to lvl 99, I think I might go re-purchase FFVII and get Vincent, since I never (I know I know) did that the first time around.

Speaking of STEVEN...he just had a birthday!!!!! OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE KNOWN YOU THIS LONG!!!! I love you, and even though I'm flaky, and addicted to drugs, and a hermit, I thought about you a lot yesterday and meant to get on and tell you that YOU ROCK, and pet and nuzzle you. You'll just have to let me today instead *flomps on you, nuzzle-kisses!*

It's all about me...

You know when you cut your thumb on a really sharp knife, and it bleeds like a mother fucker, and you swear repeatedly, squeezing it to see how much blood you can make spurt out as you run to the sink?

Well I just washed my hair with that thumb, and every time I ran it over my head, a chunk of strands would slip into it, causing a really squicky, painful feeling. Now it's just flapping in the wind, kinda dried out from the tea tree shampoo.

~~~~~~~c-section story deleted~~~~~~~

I love you, Mena - you are everything I could have wanted and more. My beautiful girl, you amaze me constantly. Your smile makes my day, and you were worth every minute of heartache that it took to get you here. Happy Birthday, Miss Stinky. <3